The Circumstances In Which I Began To Date Ally Twitchell

The first time I heard her name was when my friend told me that there is a pretty girl named "Ally," who he began to start liking. He told me how much she had seemed to grow in her relationship with God over the time he had known her, which at that time wasn't that long. He told me she liked movies, and had a cool sense of style and he liked how she dressed. We immediately Instagram stalked her, looking her up so I could judge just how pretty she was, which ended up being very much. Secretly, for a few years up to this moment, I had been asking God specifically, that the name of the person I would marry would have that same name, "Ally." So, because of this, any time I heard the name Ally, my eyes and ears perked up a bit; which lead me to this moment of my friend talking about her, to which I begrudgingly congratulated my friend on his "find." It was January 25th; This was the first time, to my knowledge, I had ever become aware of her existence.

In hindsight, this is ironic. I had just spent the past week literally, not figuratively, crying and feeling more alone than ever. Why? Because it was my birthday five days before this. People say "The Holidays" is the time of the year that lonely people become lonelier, because of warmth in the season they evaluate the gaps and holes in their personal lives; For me this was never true, it was my birthday that became a time of contemplation. Each year marked a passing in age and time that culminated to this single day. I'd normally spend my birthday, that day that most people LOVE to celebrate, sulking and questioning; "Why haven't I had success in this area of my life, in dating?" "Why am I still alone when all I've ever wanted as long as I can remember is to not be alone?" "Why did you create me to be a romantic and then not bring me someone to be romantic with?"--I'd spend the day in misery wondering if time would just keep slipping, if years would just continue to escape me as I grew older and older and older… If you ask my family, they know I hate my birthday. When each year comes, they always ask, "Why do you hate your birthday?" And I would always give them some reason that dismissed them as quickly as possible, that was never the real reason… How could I tell this people group, my family, who wanted so badly to celebrate me and show me that they loved me, wasn't good enough to fill this void that was all-the-more increasing? So they still don't know. I'm Twenty-Six now… they still don't know the real reason I have hated my birthdays for so long, (and I don't think I'll ever tell them, it's extremely personal for me); was because no matter how hard I tried, no matter how hard I loved God and put Him first, no matter how many friends I had, no matter how much my family was staring straight at me adoringly, …the one person who mattered most to me, the one who I wanted adoring me, didn't yet exist in my life, and each year came and went with contemplativeness and inquisition and my loneliness destroyed me further, taking pieces of me along the way. 

Have no fear. These pieces are now being restored slowly and surely. Praise God. 

To understand just how important Ally is to me, you have to know something about my past… The first thing you should know is that I have always been a romantic… Overly so. I have always wanted to get lost in romance, somehow, someway… No one I had ever encountered could line up with that idealism though. No one could ever come alongside me and accompany me in my romanticism. The second thing is that in the attempts that I did make to try to go down that road, it ended up being completely miserable, so me and whoever-it-was, ended up going down different roads entirely, thus leaving me more shattered and broken than I previously was. Over and over this happened, again and again; mistake after mistake. I was stupid. I still am stupid, just less stupid than I was before. But eventually I found my worth in God, and I moved on. But then there came this incessant question of; "When is this enigmatic promise going to be fulfilled?"--That man was not meant to be alone… Well I sure felt alone, and each new birthday was a reminder of that. So it was January 25th, my friend and I were at In-N-Out because… it's awesome, and I had just heard Ally Twitchell's name for the first time and seen her picture. She looked familiar to me, but I dismissed it and her, and the hope of meeting the right person named, "Ally"… and tried to continue to hold to God's promise that I would not be alone. 

The second time I had heard her name was also the day I met her. I had come home from seeing the new Die Hard, (uhhh…) And it also happened to be the night of the Oscars, my sister had invited some people over, and she said, "I also invited this girl named, Ally, over, who I know from school," I asked, "Twitchell?" Then my sister replied, "Yep," I said, "I've heard about her." The date was February 24th. The first time I saw her in person since I became aware of her existence was when she came over to watch the Oscars at my house later that night, she was a vision--She was very beautiful as if someone who I had never met was someone I had known before, whom I had actually missed beholding; a sight for sore eyes. ...Time passed, and she started attending my bible study… she got involved with our friend group, we started talking more and more one on one, we realized we were both awesome human beings and felt that special pull toward one another, after a month of prayer and agonizingly impatient waiting (for me), a talk with her wonderful father, and a really phenomenal CVS visit, we began officially dating on June 3rd, 2013.

I have been recounting these things today in my mind, and I came upon two things that prompted me to sit down and write/type all of this out. 

The first is that: God's timing is perfect. 

I never believed that until this relationship. Maybe it is because I finally am lined up or submitted to Him enough to be in God's will for my life, maybe He just decided to bless me… but looking back on the outstanding circumstances that lead to the fact that this amazing woman is now in my life, I can't help but glorify God, because it is that good. It is seemingly too perfect. I have never encountered something so strong, so overwhelmingly powerful, and beautifully simple… in all of my life. That, to me, is how you gauge God's hand is on something and that His will is genuinely taking place in your life. It was as if, all circumstances, even the smallest details and paralyzing worries that one could have, all came together and then were put to rest. A complete, whole, and ordered peace; and that peace has increased with each new day for Ally and myself since the initiation of it. 

I was thinking today just how funny it is that I am sitting here in the latter part of my twenties and I am dating someone who barely just began her twenties. She hasn't even experienced the over half of a decade that I have already experienced. And for her there will be much to come… but for me, my twenties are coming to a close. (How I wish her and I were the same age so we could endure the similarities of life together as it comes!) And as usual, I couldn't help but ask God, "Why?" "Why is there such an age gap?" To that there are many answers… But I was reminded of something she said to me once that she put so astutely, "God brought me to you as quickly as He could." How true this was! Before we met, she was in a place of maturing and rapid growth, and I was in a place of refining and humbling, so when we met, it was like these worlds were not colliding for the wear, but more conjoining for the purpose of God. He began making things new and beautiful again for both of our individual lives but now we were proceeding together and we didn't have to do it alone; And for me it was finally granting my prayers and sorrowful supplications their requests, and bringing about that perfect peace to earth. I don't think it could have been more perfect. I don't think I could have met her any earlier in my life or her earlier in her life. It was almost as if God knew what He was doing all along. Ally and I both have talked and agreed that if we had just submitted ourselves to His will earlier that we probably could have met a few years sooner. I am just ecstatic that she is here now. God has done above and beyond what I could ever ask or think. 

The second is that: We have an enemy.

For as perfect as it really is, when we look at the sweetness that is our relationship and look at it from the perspective of Christ and the surprising situations surrounding us on a daily basis, and how well our personalities mesh, and interests, etcetera etcetera… It still takes work, and there have been ups and downs. Don't get me wrong, daily I am beyond thankful, but also daily I am subject to the flesh as much as I am to the spirit, and sometimes I cater to one more than the other, as does she… and our perfection, that both her and I see, becomes unbalanced. The reason it continues to work, is because Ally and I continue to see the beauty, we are both created that way, and we both know that this is it, and so we fight for what God has brought to us. But our lows have made us increasingly more aware of how the enemy loves to come to steal, kill, and destroy. I can't help but think of the beauty in Eden, not only was it His new creation, but it was a place where His glory dwelt on earth! How beautiful! And the enemy came to steal, kill, and destroy it, and rob it of it's beauty. Well here, to my knowledge, we have the same thing, something of great beauty, and we have noticed it being attacked at times, whether if it's the enemy, or just our flesh, and we are just an enemy to ourselves, it has been attacked, and we've had to press into God further as a couple because of it, which has really only made us stronger. I can confidently say that, that is what we will continue to do as we both move forward in our relationship, because we both have the same desire to know God and to move closer to Him. 

There is a final thought I would like to jot down. There are many more occurrences and circumstances surrounding Ally and I getting together in the beginning that lead to us now dating, many of which her and I have discussed on multiple occasions, which we consider amazing and pretty fantastic. I was also thinking about miracles today, and how often we don't see miracles in this day and age, (in this country, in this culture) and there are debatable reasons behind that… But I personally believe there are miracles to those who want to see them, and if you choose to seek them out, to look for the good in your life, rather than sulking like I have done in my past, then you will see them. For example, I once told somebody all the things that I felt were amazing about Ally and I coming to be together, and how much I felt God's hand on it, and his response was, and I quote, "I have heard many amazing things, and what you told me by no means do I consider amazing." Boy, did that piss me off.--So here is my long delayed response to that somebody…;--Just as someone who is blind has never seen, when that blind man finally see's, the smallest and most minuscule things, that we take for granted, are a miracle to that blind man. So, to me, a man who has never seen any of his relationships work in his life, who has never had his ideals met, who has never encountered peace from God when pursuing someone, who has never had anything happen to him this good… and perfect… and true… ever. 

My relationship with Allyson Rebecka Twitchell is a f***ing miracle. And it is amazing. 

- Steven

I love you, Ally! It has been a truly blessed two months being your boyfriend! To many more months, and years, and forevers.

Know I'm always just at the second star to the right, and down the rabbit hole.

You are the key.

I am yours. Praise God. Praise God.